The Heart's Deceit
by meetjasper
Summary: Dimitri left not to become Tasha's guardian but because he simply could or atleast that's what everyone assumes. Five years later he returns to find a set of twins who call Rose mommy. Why did he leave and what made him come back?
1. Chapter 1

5 years earlier

I laugh uncontrollably as Lissa and I tumble out the doors and away from the party that was celebrating my day. "Do you remember that day…." she suddenly dissolves into laughter. "When you tried to baptize that cat?" I look at her face and I can't control my laughter any longer. Back in the first grade there was this old stripped tabby cat that would follow Lissa and me everywhere. One day after I was dragged to church I decided I wanted to baptize the cat, you know so it could get in heaven. Well that's what I told Lissa really I just wanted to see what would happen.

"Cats do not like water in anyway." I follow her further into the woods, "I was covered in cuts for days."

She turns toward me and smiles, "It never touched me." I scrawl at her which just makes her dissolves into laughter again.

"Hey! Do you remember when I jumped out the window with a trash bag as my parachute?" I ask laughing as I think back to a time when bruises and broken bones were a daily thing.

The happiness flows through the bond as she remembers all the nights we spent causing trouble and sneaking out. "I can't believe all the stuff we did back then Rosie." I smile as I think about us when we were in kindergarten then middle school and finally where we are now. We've been through so much but I wouldn't change it for anything.

Our laughter dies down as we walk away from the booming music and alcohol; I catch a slight movement out my right eye. Staring closer I realize that there's a shadow blending in with the snow covered trees and bushes. Grabbing Lissa I pull her behind me and keep one hand on her.

The shadow steps out and the height gives away who it is immediately.

Dimitri.

I smile and take a step closer until I realize that he's dressed from head to toe in black.

_Oh great another test._

I react instantly reaching for my 'stake' I'd been given for the trials that I thought had ended yesterday. I turn toward my attacker; I have to defend my moroi. I feel Lissa step away from my protection and turn just as thousands of lights are turned on. She set me up, I had thought our walk was aimless but really I was lead into a large field where just about the entire school sat waiting. Waiting for the ultimate showdown, student vs. mentor.

Standing across from him is something I expected to say the least. I knew that one day we would have to spar in front of others and I had prepared myself physically along with mentally. Despite this I still had this part of me saying that I couldn't fight him, that he was my Dimitri. I push that part to the back of my mind he isn't my Dimitri right now. He's the strigoi threatening Lissa or at least that's how I'm going to think about it.

I spring towards him hoping to catch him by surprise, a feat I've yet to accomplish this time included. I may be fast but he was faster, always faster. He lands a blow to the side of my head making my world spin. It doesn't hurt at least not right now. Later it would hurt like a bitch. We continue to attack, exchanging hits and misses. We are too evenly matched; he taught me everything I know. I can anticipate him just like he can me and before long we're in a sort of dance.

He knows every move I have except one. One that could cost me everything or win everything for me. He jumps toward me but I slid across the ground beneath him jumping up and wrapping my legs around his neck and instantly flipping him onto the ground knocking the breath from him. His momentary pause gives me just enough time to grip my stake and bring it down onto his heart.

"Dead." I win.

The crowd around us begins to cheer and continue all the way back to their dorms. I hang back hoping to catch Dimitri. I guess luck is on my side because I see him walking towards me. "Rose I need to have a word with you." He sounds and looks so formal as he walks toward me with his guardian mask in place. I guess he didn't approve of the move. I stop walking and wait for him to reach me. "Do you know how dangerous that move was?" He sounds mad and it pisses me off.

"Yes I do but guess what it worked." The attitude oozes from my voice and his eyes find my and the disapproval is evident.

"What if next time it doesn't? If you die then Lissa dies. Is that what you want?" I push my feeling of guilt back as my anger grows. "You're not acting like a guardian Rosemarie."

"What the hell Dimitri you aren't a strigoi! I wouldn't try that move with one so chill the fuck out." My voice never rises above a normal tone but the venom is easy to hear. He turns to look at me guardian mask down and I can read him like a book. He's a book full of regret and sadness, one you would never read but one that I've already read. "What's wrong Dimitri?"

"Rose I'm leaving to guard Tasha." The nausea that fills my stomach isn't because of any strigoi this time but because of him. The man I love more than anything. I search his face for any emotion but he has his mask back up, I feel my knees buckle moments before I realize I'm falling. Raising my eyes from the ground I look up towards him.

"I can't do this without you." The weakness I'm showing doesn't even bother me for once because right now all I know is that I'm losing him and it's killing me. All I can see is a life without my Dimitri. A life with no old western books, bad music, Russian accents, cowboy dusters or being called Roza.

"You can Rose. That's what you just showed the entire academy. You've learned all I can teach you and now I have to go."

"Please stay." My voice sounds so broken and unlike me that I think it catches him off guard.

"Don't make this any harder Rose. Please." The weakness in his voice causes my eyes to tear up. Standing up I walk towards him.

_I have to let go and make this easier. Hearing him sound so weak is wrong._

"Goodbye Comrade." I say placing my hand on his arms before I turn and walk back towards my dorm.

"Goodbye my Roza." I turn back and watch as he sits on the ground.

"Love you Comrade." I whisper loud enough only for myself to hear.


	2. Chapter 2

Pulling up to the red light I close my eyes, rub my temples and sigh. I can feel a headache coming on. "Mommy Ky is looking at me." yells a voice sitting behind me. Opening my eyes I push the gas and pass beneath the newly green light. "Make her stop!" I breathe in and out trying to ignore the fight growing in the backseat in hopes that the fatigue will finally take over and they'll sleep. "Mommy!" I guess not. I look at them from the mirror and fight the urge to sigh. Ky is fast asleep in the car seat next to Alek and in no way looking at him.

"Alek she's asleep and not looking at you." I glance behind me at look at him. He fights to keep his eyes open but I guess the tiredness wins because I watch as his big brown eyes close. He looks just like him as he sleeps and a weight in placed on my heart. I wish I knew where he was so he would know about them. They deserve to have their father. Looks like the only way he'll ever find out about them is when I die or can't take care of them. I hope that's a long way off because I can't give them up yet.

Reaching in my pocket I pull out my phone, dial a number, and listen to the dial tone until her voicemail finally picks up. "Hey Lissa just letting you know we should be home in half an hour." I hang up and focus on the road stopping my mind from wondering back to him. I feel my phone vibrate and look down smiling until I see the name.

_Dimitri_

I had kept his number in my phone hoping he hadn't had it changed but each time I called it he ignored my call so I had given up. Picking up my phone I hit end and look back at the road. I see the headlights swerve, so I cut the wheel to the right, last thing I see from it is the bottle turned up before the truck crosses that yellow line and into the front driver side of my car. I feel the metal crushing in my body and close my eyes against the glass flying into my face. I blink away the blood and dirt so I can see. Turning I see my babies and then I hear them. "Mommy!" Ky yells quickly echoed by her brother. Their voices are full of fear and I quickly scan them for injuries. They're fine besides the few scratches on their arms and legs.

"It's okay baby. I'm right here. Are you guys okay?" I ask moving my arm that's not pinned against the steering wheel around searching for my phone.

"I'm scared!" She yells causing tears to rise in her brown eyes, making the specks of green more dominant. I tighten my hand around my phone and painfully pull up to my face. "It's okay Ky. I'm calling for help okay. Just stay calm okay. Alek you okay?" I watch him shake his heard and for once I miss their constant arguing." I manage to hit send twice and despite the fact that it's him I'm happy I manage to do that much because I can see the darkness over taking my eyesight.

"Belkov"

"Dimitri."

"Rose? Are you okay?"

"I need you to call an ambulance." I say keeping my voice even and calm.

"What happened? Where are you?" He asks not hiding his emotions for once and I wish he had. The sound of his voice being so weak throws me back to that day."

I close my eyes and fight back the feeling of pain radiating throughout my body, "Mommy, we love you." calls Alek.

"I love you guys so much." I close my eyes and fight the darkness. "We're fifteen minutes from court Comrade. I need an ambulance please."

"Okay I'm calling right now Rose." I lay the phone down and see the flames of my life flash before my eyes.

When I met Lissa

"_Okay today we will be learning how to write your names." says the teachers standing in front of the class, "Rosemarie and Visalia you will be working together. I want you full name Rosemarie not just Rose. Do you understand?" I don't answer just stare at the mean teacher._

"_My hand hurts." _

"_My name is longer than yours." I complain glancing at the blonde sitting beside me._

"_Is not!"_

"_Is too!" _

"_She's mean." I look over at the pale blonde and see her staring at the teacher. _

_Picking up a book I chunk it at the teacher hitting her square in the face, "Fascist bastard." I yell before smiling at the girl. "I'm Rose."_

"_I'm Lissa." _

I'm sure there would have been more except that a tiny voice pulled me back, "Mommy I love you." I hear the ambulance's sirens and fight against that darkness that's growing closer and closer, just waiting to come for me. I smell the gasoline and smoke wiggling my arm I'm pretty sure it's broke.

Just before the darkness engulfs me with open arms I manage, "I love you too Ky so much. I love you too Alek just as much."


	3. Chapter 3

Hey:D I'm sorry this took soo long. I'm sick right now and my head is all stuffy feeling. I went to the doctor and they said I have a double ear infection, a sinus infection and bronchitis. Anyway I hope this is an okay update. I hope everyone had a great Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrated and a great New Year.:) Love ya Guyys.

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Something is wrong; everything looks not different but not exactly right. My eyes fall on the two small figures huddled together asleep on a couch and my heart clenches. I let out a sigh as I look around the room. I hear a door open but for some reason I can't turn my head and see who it is. "Lissa don't worry she'll wake up" _Why is he calling me Lissa? _Then I'm staring at my body lying on a small hospital bed with wires running from me to the many machines near my head. _Shit I'm in Lissa's head. _

Then I see him and it all comes back. The phone call and car wreck. He's sitting in a chair that looks uncomfortable but judging from the faraway look in his eyes, I don't think he notices. His tall frame is hunched over and for once, looks completely ungraceful. My eyes, Lissa's eyes, study him and I can feel her confusion. She doesn't understand why he's here, she doesn't know I called him or that the well no one knows that not even Adrian.

"Dimitri?" His head moves but his eyes stay on the ground and then right before my, our, eyes he transforms into the guardian who trained me, into the man I fell in love with. The guardian mask that he's perfected covers his face and all emotions he may have shown are gone, but unlike everyone in this room, I can see the anger, sadness and other emotions that dance in his eyes.

"Princess I've been sent to guard you until Guardian Hathaway is well enough to return to work." There it is, the emotionless tone he perfected the one I learned so well from him. The tone he used the last time I saw him. His eyes stay focused on Lissa, me, and I wish I were awake so he would leave.

"I won't require your protection Guardian Belikov." He flinches but doesn't look away from her and I realize he isn't going to back down.

"I'm sorry Princess but I will protect you until Guardian Hathaway wakes up. You're her best friend and bond mate, if she were to wake up and something had happened to you well she wouldn't take it well" His eyes drop towards the ground, when he looks back up the mask is gone and in it's place stands a broken man. A man I love even if he had broken my heart. "I want to be able to make sure you're still around when Rose is able to wake up. I want her to know that while she's healing you are safe."

"Why do you care now? You left her alone and broken. She couldn't sleep for weeks without nightmares. She lost every aspect of herself except for the guardian part. I lost her because of you!"

"I had my reasons for leaving!"

"Just like you have your reasons for coming back? You're not here for her and you know it!"

"I'm here because she called me for help! I answered the phone and all I could hear was the panic hidden behind her façade. I couldn't think, hell I couldn't even see straight. I knew she was in trouble and I was too far away to save her! I care about her more than anyone can understand, I left because I had too!" He gets louder with every word and I can see Alek and Ky stirring. Well they're in for a surprise.

"Would you people shut up! I'm trying to sleep here if you didn't notice." Yep that's my little man. His yell startles Kyleigh causing her to wake up and well lets say she loves her sleep.

"Shut up Alek! I'm trying too freaking sleep." Dimitri and Lissa turn and watch as the two begin their daily argument.

"Don't tell me to shut up Kyleigh Dima." He jumps off the couch followed by his sister and they stand facing each other.

"Don't tell me what to do Aleksandr Deniz."

Before anyone in the room realizes it the two are on each other throwing punches and landing kicks to stomachs. Dimitri moves to stop them but something stops him, I follow his gaze and I know why he stopped. They fight just like me, with the same stance and everything. Neither of them will win this either and it quite obvious why. They know the same moves and because they are fighting with rage and not thinking about what they are doing.

Alek swings a fist at Ky's face which is something I strictly told them not to do, so when it make contact well Dimitri jumps into action separating the two. "Don't touch me you freak." Oh how I love my little Alek and his mouth.

"Stranger Danger! Stranger Danger!" I feel a laugh bubble out of Lissa as she watches the scene before her. Poor Dimitri.

"All right that's enough. Calm down. Now!"

"You don't tell me what to do." yells Alek snatching out of Dimitri's grip. "Who do you think you are?" Ky continues her rant of stranger danger until Dimitri speaks.

"Guardian Dimitri Belikov."

"You trained my mom." Her voice is soft and sad as she stares at my body laying on the bed.

"Yes I did. Now would you two mind introducing yourselves?"

"I'm Kyleigh Dima Hath.."

"Shut up Kyleigh! You know we don't tell our last name!"

"Oh yeah. That's Aleksandr Deniz."

i know this wasn't the greatest update but i hope to have all my stories updated before midnight:)


	4. Chapter 4

So this is super short but it's just setting up for the next chapter that I'm posting right after this. :) happy new year everyone.

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I watch through Lissa's eyes as she pulls Dimitri outside the hospital room. I guess it's a good thing I'm not like connected to my body or whatever. "Whose are they?" Too bad he doesn't know it isn't doing any good asking Lissa. The only person who knows is Alberta.

"It's none of your business."

"Their names are Russian. Why would she name them something Russian?"

Liss opens her mouth to answer but she's interrupted by someone turning down the hallway. "Princess, Dimitri."

"Guardian Petrov." Dimitri always so formal.

"If I may Princess I would like to have a word with Guardian Belikov alone." I can tell it's more of an order than a request. Liss enters the hospital room and sits on my bed. A tug on her shirt causes her to look towards the floor, towards my teary-eyed daughter. I can't take it I pull back from Lissa's mind with all my might and tumble back into an endless darkness. I could be facing down hundreds of strigoi and it wouldn't hurt as much as seeing those tears grace her beautiful brown eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

These are both extremly short chapters but it gets what i need done in the chapter. I hope you guys stick around and keep reading.

btw: i own nothing sadly:(

pov: Dimitri Belikov

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I watch Alberta's retreating form before returning my eyes to the envelope that lies in my hands. Its plain really, just a white envelope with her familiar handwriting gracing the front but it still makes my heart clench. My name in her handwriting is the closest I'd been to her in years. My hands shake slightly as I turn it over in my hands, run my finger under the seal ripping it open, and pull the letter out.

Dimitri,

If you're reading this then something has happened to me. I don't know when or if you will ever get this letter but I trust Alberta to know when the time is right. I chose her because she knew about us back at the Academy. She was the only person who understood what I was feeling after you left. She helped me get my life back. By now you've realized I have some things to tell you. I need you to know and understand. I know you'll be angry by the end and in complete disbelief but remember I have two wonderful five year old pieces of evidence.

To begin with I hope that life brought you everything you needed after you left. I'm just sorry I wasn't enough to keep you, enough to make you commit. I've grown a lot is your thought right now, isn't it. I bet you never thought I'd just let you go so easily without fuss. I tried but I just couldn't save you from yourself. I've taken down all reminders of you. It just hurts too much.

You left me cold and too broke to fix. I threw myself into my training and quickly became one of the best guardians around. I bet I could even give you a run for your money. But you see my attitude changed completely a few weeks after you left. I hadn't been feeling so great and Alberta forced me to see a doctor and well I found out about the two little guardians growing inside me. You're probably wondering why I'm telling you this. Well I've only slept with one guy my whole life Comrade and I'm sure you've just realized that they're yours.

That's right you're a dad, don't worry about telling them because they already know. I would never keep anything like that from my mini guardians. I love them and I'm sure you will to. They know you only by name and that you were my mentor and taught me everything I know. They've never met you and already look up too you so please don't let them down.

Kyleigh Dima Hathaway- Belikov is my little girl. She's, according to most teachers around the Academy, my carbon copy. She has a smart mouth and a tendency to yell things like 'stranger danger'. She's a complete brat but that's what makes her mine. She has my dark brown hair with your unruliness. It will not stay in a hair tie for anything in the world. Her eyes are dark brown with specks of a lighter brown. She's a fighter much like I am. I know you'll love her once you get to know her.

Aleksandr Deniz Hathaway-Belikov is his father's son. He's level headed and has tremendous self control. In most ways he's the exact opposite of Kyleigh. He tends to be quiet but he's deadly for his age in a fight. He's a complete angel and that's what makes him yours. He has your brown hair that's cut just above his shoulders. His eyes are the lightest brown I've ever seen with specks of green. He's just like you Comrade and I know you'll love him.

They love to fight anything and everything including each other. I've taught them each the same moves so neither of them ever wins in a fight unless Alek decides to break the rules and hit Ky in the face which happens a lot. They both love to sleep and if you wake them up be ready for all hell to break loose. No one but Alberta knew they were yours and honestly I don't see how no one can see you in them.

I didn't know I was carrying them when you left or I would have told you. I may be a bitch in almost everyway but I wouldn't ever dream of keeping something like this from you. I'm sorry you missed so much of their life. I love you Comrade always have and always will.

Rose


	6. Chapter 6

Third Update this weekend:) Hope you enjoy.

POV: Rose

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People assume that when you are alone, you're lonely. I always thought that was true until I was consumed in this black nothingness. Just being alone sitting on a couch or in gym is not being lonely. When you're completely alone in a place where time never ends, where mere seconds feel like hours and hours like days that is when you are truly lonely. You're left in a place where no one is there for you to listen to or talk too much less for you to try and ignore.

This place literally leaves you alone with your thoughts and memories. It doesn't matter if the memory is sad or amazing this nothingness pulls it out and forces you to face it again. This place isolates you from everyone and even yourself. You just sit here and think and eventually you grow angry but there isn't anything you can do because there isn't anything around you, nothing for you to hit, punch or throw. You have no way to take out the anger and so it just grows inside you, tearing you up piece by piece until there is nothing left of you.

I'm not really sure if I'm standing or sitting anymore all I know is that there isn't anything around me. I have no way out. I can't even feel Lissa or the bond anymore it's like someone is blocking me from it, forcing me to stay in this blackness, trying to drive me to the point of insanity. I guess they don't know that nothing can break me, not anymore at least. No the only person who will ever be able to destroy me is sitting in a hospital room with my, our, twins. I'm sure by now Alberta has delivered the letter.

I close my eyes and reach out towards the bond, searching for it and find that I'm still blocked out. Relaxing my body I push with all my might against the wall but I just end up back in my nothingness. This place is worse than any prison. I'd rather have walls than blackness that stretches miles and miles. I push at the block on Lissa's mind and can feel it relenting slowly. I believe I'm making progress until I'm thrown back on my ass. "Dimmit I just want to see my kids." and before I know what's happened I'm standing in a hospital room. I turn my head too look around and see Lissa standing beside my body.

I look down at my hands and see the floor through them. What the hell! Am I a ghost? I watch as Liss gets up and leaves the room. She reaches her hands out towards my little guardians but they just shake their heads and walk towards my hospital bed. Liss opens her mouth to say something but Dimitri walks into the room, my letter in his hand. "Its okay princess I'll stay with them." I can see the emotional battle in her eyes before she relents and walks out the room.

"What'd you say your name was?" My little guardian asks pulling on his arm, I watch the recognition cross Dimitri's face as he stares down at her. He kneels in front of her and smiles a real smile. His guardian mask is gone as he stares at her.

"Dimitri Belikov."

She smiles slightly before walking back towards my bed, picking up my hand she leans towards me and whispers into my ear, "Mommy I love you. Dimitri is here. What do I call him?" I glance back at Dimitri and notice that she didn't really whisper that well and he heard her. I look around the room and my eyes land on Alek. He's staring at Dimitri with a look of hatred but I can see the love that lies beneath.

"You're not my dad. I don't care what mommy says because if you wanted us you would have stayed." His little eyes fill with tears that he hastily wipes away. He never likes to appear weak and I can see him trying to hide his emotion. He's so much like Dimitri that it hurts but he does have my blood so he has little outbursts just like Ky has Dimitri in her and in moments where Alek can't control himself she becomes the calm one.

"You don't have to call me dad or anything like it Alek. I just I want to know you." The raw emotion in his voice shocks me and I try to reach out to him but I'm snatched back by a line that runs from my body to my ghost like state. Ky inherited my love for Dimitri because she walks up to him and hugs his leg, trying to comfort him.

"It's okay Dimitri I know that If you left you had a good reason. Mommy says you're a good man who would never hurt anyone intentionally." Wow I had forgotten I told her that and to tell the truth I still feel that way. Dimitri is an honorable man who would never abandon his duties including his children.

I watch Dimitri's face for any sign of emotion but all I see is him staring down at our little girl, the little girl who has so much faith in a man that she just met. Then almost as if something finally clicked he smiles at her and wraps her tiny body in a hug. "Thank you My-ah sladkaya" Her nose scrunches up in confusion as she runs through the few words she's learned in Russian so far.

Dimitri opens his mouth to tell her but she holds her hand up and continues thinking. I watch as the words pass through her brain until she finally finds it. "My sweet one." Her smiles lights her face as she see's the surprise on his face. "Mommy is teaching us Russian silly" She steps away from him and turns towards Alek.

I watch the silent war that they battle between themselves until finally Alek's head drops and he walks toward Dimitri. When he raises his head the complete confusion and hurt that covers his features almost break my heart and judging from Dimitri's face he feels the same way. "I'm sorry."

"It's completely okay Alek. I'm sorry I couldn't have been here for you."

"He didn't know about you two." I turn just as two tornados crash into Alberta knocking her back towards the door. Dropping towards the floor she wraps them in a hug.

"Mommy didn't tell him?" They ask in unison, their twin-ness coming out.

Alberta stares down at my two little guardians and smiles before looking back towards Dimitri. "She didn't know how to get in touch with him. She wanted to tell him guys she just couldn't."

"When is mommy going to wake up?" Alek instead directing his question toward Alberta like I expected is looking at Dimitri expectedly. "You don't lie."

"I don't know when she'll wake up but I hope it's soon." He answers him truthful just as Alek expected him too. That's one way Dimitri will win Alek over. He respects people who tell the truth no matter what.

"I miss her." My poor little girl walks towards my bed and lays her head on my bed. His tiny hand wraps around mine and she closes her eyes. I feel warmth covering my ghost-like hand and smile as I watch Alek hug Alberta goodbye before walking towards my bed and taking my other hand.

"We need you Mommy. Wake up soon." I close my eyes as I feel the warmth that surrounds my hands and I'm pulled back into that horrid darkness.


	7. Chapter 7

Heyy:) Thanks for reading. I hope this is an alright chapter. Honestly I don't have the energy to really update. I've been really tired lately. Anyway please enjoy and tell me what you think. I want to know what you loved and what you hated.

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I softly lift Alek from the hospital bed and lay him on the couch, covering his tiny form with my jacket, turning back towards Rose my eyes fall on the twin who refuses to give into sleep. Her hands come up and rub her eyes. The battle raging inside her is evident. She's tired really tired. In a last ditch attempt of staying awake she starts to talk.

"One day I found a dog."

"You did? Did mommy let you keep it?" I ask sitting in the chair next to Rose's bed.

"No silly, it was dead." Oh good god she was Rose's daughter. Any other child would be horrified of a dead animal but not, what did rose call them? Her little guardians.

"How'd you know it was dead?" I ask leaning towards the bed.

"I pissed in it's ear and it didn't move." I had been picking Rose's hand up but drop it to look towards Ky.

"You did what?"

"You know I went pssst, " she continues laying down next to Rose, "and it didn't move." I watch her eyes close and when her breathing evens out I pull a piece a paper and key from my pocket. I turn the key over in my hand before putting it back and picking Ky up. I move her so she's asleep on one side and lean down to pick Alek up.

"Dimitri?"

"yeah Alek?"

"Come back tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Go back to sleep buddy."

Then just like that I'm alone with two sleeping kids and my comatose love. I push the door open and walk out almost running into .

"Oh I'm sorry Guardian Belikov. I see you figured It out." I must look confused because she glances at he two sleeping five year olds I'm holding. "That they're yours."

"How is it possible?"

She smiles at me, " As far as I've been able to understand is that it's a shadow kiss effect. When her body was brought back by spirit it underwent changes that modern science can't explain. She was genetically change and they're the product of that."

"Will they ever forgive me?"

"Kyleigh as far as I know never blamed you but little Alek, well he doesn't understand. Rose has tried to make him understand that you had to leave but he's your son and he needs concrete reasons for things. Rose could never give him a reason for you leaving because she herself doesn't know why you left."

"I have to get them to bed. It was nice seeing you."

"If you have any problems you have Lissa, Alberta and me for help."

Pushing the key into the lock I walk in and look around the bedroom. After all this time I thought Rose would have gotten away from the Academy but instead she's a mentor and teacher to the younger children, but I guess that's what happens when your Moroi takes on a teaching position. Looking around the room I lay the twins down on the bed and look around the room, my eyes landing on photo at the very top of a cabinet. I walk over to pick it up but a tiny voice stops me.

"It's not nice to snoop Dimitri." I swear do they ever sleep through the night.

"Hey Ky where do you two sleep?"

"In a bed of course." Typical Rose.

"Where is this bed?"

"in our rooms."

"Where are the rooms?"

"In a building." Okay really getting annoying.

"where is the building?"

"In Montana."

"Kyleigh."

"Did you know that garbage bags make horrible parachutes?" I just stare at her in amazement. Rose was talking about the same thing that night five years ago. "Broke my arm that time."

"Mommy has it wrote down somewhere on the desk." Thank You Alek.

" Thanks little man." I walk towards the desk and find some papers in the bottom drawer, pulling them out I scan a few before I find what I'm looking for. It's her messy scribble on a plain piece of paper but it still pulls at my heart. I really need her to wake up. It's only been a couple of hours and I'm already lost. Watching other peoples children is different that just meeting your own. Picking the piece of paper up my eyes fall on a stack of envelopes addressed to me. Picking them up I place them in my duster pocket before turning back to the two sleepy five year olds.

"Come on guys let's get you to your rooms." I watch in amazement as they wrap their tiny hands around mine once we step outside Rose's bedroom. I don't know why Alberta gave me the key for sure but I think it was so I'd find the letters. "Okay who goes first?"

"We drop Ky off first."

"Okay to Kyleigh's room then."

"wanna hear a joke?"

"Ky not that joke again. I'm so tired of it!"

"I like it! Do you wanna hear it?" Those brown eyes mixed with her almost identical looks to Rose almost melt my heart.

"yeah My-ah sladkaya." She smiles at the nickname before continuing.

"What do you call a person who won't stop talking when people still don't care?"

"I don't know. What do call them?"

"A teacher." The giggles tumbling from inside her make me smile. " This is my room."

"Goodnight My-ah sladkaya."

"Night Otetes." I swear my heart just stopped. I smile down at her and hug her. Walking a little ways down the hall we stop in front of another door.

"Night Dimitri." Before I can reply he's gone and the door is shut. I really hope I can break through to him.

Instead of heading to my room which would be the smart thing I change directions and head back towards the infirmary. I need to see her and talk to her. Walking into that room and seeing her with all those wires connected to her is hard. Pulling a chair up I sit down next to her and pick her hand up.

"Roza, what am I going to do? I don't know how to raise two kids. Definetly not two kids who want their mommy to wake up. Please Rose just come back. They need you. I need you."


	8. Chapter 8

**Heyy:) School was cancelled! There is ice and snow everywhere! It's a lot of funn:) Well here is the next part of thd:) Hope you like it. I'm going back outside to ride the fourwheeler!**

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It's hard to sit here in this darkness and listen to the strongest man I've ever met beg me to wake up. He's confused and to be honest so am I, I don't understand why I can't wake up. It's like there's something outside that's controlling my mind, forcing me to suffer in this world of nothingness. I'm sure my body and mind are healed enough to wake up because I don't feel broken like I did when I first woke up here.

"Rose if you can hear me I need you to do something for our little guardians and everyone else that loves you. Roza I need you to fight to stay alive and wake up. They need you, I need you." I feel a slight squeeze on my hand as he stops talking. Looking down I close my eyes and imagine his hand holding mine.

Squeezing his hand back, I smile. "I'm fighting it Comrade. Trust me I won't let this darkness consume me. I promise to return to my little guardians."

"I was in your room earlier before I took Ky and Alek to their rooms." I hear the sound of paper being pulled from a pocket. "I found these letters while I was looking for their room numbers. They have my name on them but I don't know if you want me to read them or not. "

"Go ahead Comrade." I don't know why I even say anything; I mean it's not as if he can hear me or anything. I guess I just can't take the silence that's fallen between us. I bet he's holding one of the envelopes in his hand, guardian mask gone, with tears in his eyes.

"Dear Dimitri," He begins the tears on his cheeks evident in his voice. "I figured Alberta would stick you in my room since it was yours and she knows I won't mind. I've decided to write these letters to you because I can feel someone trying to push their way into my mind. I know that sounds crazy but it's something I can't really describe. All I know is that it's not right and in the off chance, something really is wrong I won't you to understand some things. "

I can still feel it; even in this place where there seems that, things never end or begin. It like everything else just lasts forever. I'm not even sure how long I've been in this coma but listening to the strain and sadness that smothers every word that comes from the people who love me I know it's been too long. I hear Dimitri sniffle and let out a soft sigh.

"I can't say I understand why you left because I don't and honestly I can't even try to; it's just too painful. I blame you and I'm sure I always will but if these letters you now hold in your hands are the last words you ever hear from me I want them to be completely honest with you even if it hurts us both. Dimitri I need you to understand that I have to tell you these things and if I actually make it through whatever weird ordeal this is, I hope you will look at me through new eyes and understand that I'm not that same eighteen year old girl you left behind. "

That's true I'm not the girl he left behind. I'm a top guardian and a mother to an amazing set of twins. The girl he knew has seized to exist since that day I heard 'you're pregnant'. In that moment, I grew up because I had too. I hear him lay the paper down before picking my hand up and squeezing it. "I never saw you as an eighteen year old. You always seemed so much older Roza."

"I'm so much stronger now." He's reading from the letter again, his hand still surrounding mine. "When you left I didn't know how I would ever survive. At first, it was hard for me to even breathe so living was sort of out of the question at that point. I honestly felt like I was going to suffocate to death. I didn't want to die because I was still a guardian and not being there for Lissa was out of the question. I was like a Rosebot, I still looked the same but my personality was completely gone. I lived every second of everyday to protect Lissa. When I was supposed to be relaxing, I was in the gym working out and building more skill. I lived off of the minimum amount of sleep possible."

I can hear every emotion that runs through his voice loud and clear. I don't know why it's easier now but I think it could be because I'm in a position where I'm not trying to think of what to say back. I can't answer him and it hurts so much to hear the pain and suffering. I wish I could reach out and comfort him but I can't.

"Rose why are you telling me all this, I know I hurt you." Because you need to know these things to understand what I've been through, so when I do wake up we won't have any secrets. I don't know how long he sits there but when he finally begins to read again his voice is hoarse and choppy, as if he's trying to hold himself together. "That was my life until the moment I collapsed and was rushed to the clinic here at the school. They ran countless tests on me until one came back positive. I was pregnant. They admitted me until they could find out what had caused the collapse. I was there a couple of nights but when they released me, I was a new person. I still trained because well you know it's something I can't live without now but I was careful because I was carrying my whole world inside me."

I listen to the sound of paper as he turns it over, "Nine months later my life was blessed with a set of twins. I named them Kyleigh Dima Hathaway and Aleksandr Deniz Hathaway. I couldn't give them your name because of the circumstances, so I did the only think I could think of I named Kyleigh after you with the female version of Dimitri and I gave Alek two Russian names. I know that doesn't seem like much, but I couldn't do anything else. I know I introduced them with our last names in the first letter but if you look at their birth records, it's only my name there."

Closing my eyes, I search my mind for that invader and when I don't feel him I end up outside my body and I see Dimitri. He looks horrible to be honest. This new shadow kiss ability is coming in handy. Reaching out I run my hand over his cheek, his breath catches and his eyes shoot open. He looks disappointed but his eyes fall back on the paper. "I bet you never thought you would wake up this morning and by nightfall be the guardian of two small twins, one who no doubt accepts you and the other who can't get far enough away from you. Those are my little guardians. They're like night and day those two, but you will never find two siblings who love each other more. I guess if you are going to watching them, I should give you a few tips."

I see the smile light up his face as he talks and I'm happy he doesn't look all depressed anymore. I don't know if It was the knowledge that I had done the right thing in writing these letters or if I was just glad my kids had their father but seeing him sitting there after tucking my-our kids in bed eased this aching feeling I had felt since I found out I was pregnant. "Ky likes to sneak out her room at night and go down to the gym, don't ask me why because I haven't figured it out. She's a weird little thing but she's the most accepting person you will ever meet. She wants to be like me which I don't think is the greatest idea but how do you explain to your five year old that you aren't a good role model? That's a hard one isn't it? Alek is my levelheaded, always looking for an easier way to do things child. A way that makes more sense, he always needs a plan that's thought out. Alek is the most untrusting person I've ever met and I don't know if it's a good or bad thing. When you meet him, he will not accept you, but don't give up because he needs you. She needs you. I need you."

"I would never give up on them Rose." I see the truth of his words in his eyes and I smile as I slide my hand in his. The contact doesn't surprise him as it did the first time but he still smiles. "You're here aren't you?" I pull my hand back and his smile fades until I hit the paper in his hand I guess he understands what I want because he begins to read. I can feel my time outside my body fading but I need to be here when he finishes because I need to know that I did the right thing.

"Oh, I should also mention that they are a lot smarter than most kids their age, but they are still five so don't forget that. It's an easy thing to do when you talk to them. Just don't give up on them and they won't give up on you. You never know what one of them will do so never relax unless you want trouble. I'm serious I've caught them trying to jump from windows with garbage bags for parachutes and they've tried continuously to baptize the old cat that runs around the academy. Don't worry they are not evil, at least not completely evil." His eyes widen at the things my children have tried. If only he knew those were the tamer things. I don't know how he would feel if he found out that, they had been given detention for pranking a teacher.

"I know this letter seems a lot like the last but this is the uncondensed version of the first letter. I'm not holding anything back in this letter like I was in the first. I'm not trying to hurt you Comrade but sometimes that's what it takes. Both of those kids are a piece of my heart that I trust you with, so don't hurt them or I will hurt you when I get better or I'll haunt your ass! I'm serious Comrade you better take good care of my guardians." His face widens at my threat but the small look of fear that crossed his face proves just how scary and lethal I am. "I'd never dream of hurting them Rose."

"If I were to wake up and something had happened to one of them I don't how I'd manage to go on with my life. I love those two so much and my life wouldn't go on without both of them. Please take good care them. I just need you to understand how amazing they are and I should warn you that by the third day you'll be in love with them. I'll be watching, Rose." Then just like that, I'm thrown back into that horrid darkness. I listen and realize that my audio from the outside world is gone.

"You lost the privilege to listen to them when you decided to touch him." My head snaps in the direction of the voice but it's gone and I don't know how to find it.

"Who are you? What do you want from me?" I yell trying to make it talk again, but it's too smart for that.


	9. Chapter 9

Okay so I thought I already uploaded this one but apparently i didn't. I'm sorry it's so short but I've had the Grad test all week along with tae kwon do. i've been busy and tired so finding time to write hasn't been easy.

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Walking by the old gym, I glance inside and see her. In that moment, I don't see the little girl who is my daughter. I don't see a rule breaker. As I watch her kick and punch the bag, I see her mother. I see the form I helped perfect, I see the discipline I taught all those years ago, but most of all I see the sadness that courses through her. The fierceness that pushes her is undisciplined but it reminds me so much of Rose it's painful. Pushing the door open I silently step into the room, however unlike Rose Kyleigh hears me. She's amazing, they both are. Rose taught them well.

"What are you doing Kyleigh?" She cuts her eyes at me and my heart clenches a little.

"What does it look like?"

I cross my arms and step closer to her, "It looks like you're breaking curfew."

She laughs before turning back towards the bag. "No one here cares about curfew." I grab the bag pulling it out of her way, she falls but doesn't get up, and instead she cries.

The tears stream down her cheeks as she looks up at me and in complete desperation asks me, "When is mommy going to wake up?" I kneel beside her and run a hand through my hair. Closing my eyes, I ask myself do I tell the truth or lie. Glancing at this broken little girl, my little girl, makes me want to lie but I can't overlook the fact that she's been raised by Rose.

"I don't know sweetheart. She could wake up in five minutes, two hours, a few weeks…."

"She could never wake up." I pull her into my arms and pick her up. Her arms wrap around my neck and this warmth spreads throughout my chest as I kiss her forehead. I love her already.

"She will wake up Ky. You're mom, my Roza, she's a fighter. She won't give up. She never gives up and this time will not be any different. Anyway why would any sane person leave you and Alek willingly?"

"You did." Her voice sounds smaller and exhaustion taints it. "Why did you leave?" I feel her breathing evening out so I begin to talk.

"I love your mom Ky. She is the best thing that ever happened to me well she was until I found out about you and Alek. Sweetheart I never knew I had you or your brother here."

"Answer my question." Her voice sounds miles away when in reality her head is on my shoulder. She won't be awake much longer.

"I will darling one day when you'll understand." I hear her mouth open but before she can talk, she's knocked out. I silently open her door and lay her on the bed. Turning to leave my eyes catch a photo, it's old and battered bent from years of wear. My breath catches as I see the two people in it. It's Rose and me, we're in the gym but we aren't fighting. I'm staring into her eyes as she towers above me grinning. I don't know who sent it or when they took it. Picking it up I turn it over and read:

I wish you would have told me Rose.

That's all it says. It's not signed laying it back down I walk out the room. I pause outside the doorway leading back to where Rose lies unconscious with tubes running throughout her. I can't remember a time where she has ever seemed so vulnerable, so helpless, and so unrose like. My hand lingers on the doorknob before I turn it and return to her, to my chair, to my place beside her.

Entering the room I go to her side, brushing the hair from her face, I kiss her forehead. My heart beat increases just by being her side. I wish I could tell her how much I love her, how much I need her to be okay. I pick her hand up as I sit in my chair beside her, I feel the tears build behind my eyes but I make no move to brush them away. Leaning back in my chair I let the tears run down my cheeks, until I can cry no longer. It feels refreshing to not have to lock up my emotions, to be able to show my vulnerability without someone questioning me.


	10. Chapter 10

Hello lovely readers of my story! I would like to apologize for my lack of updates. I have been having a really hard time lately which unfortunately killed any will to write I had. If you want to know more I'd be happy to tell you all about, just shoot me a private message. Thanks. I hope my writing is still decent. I'd love for you all to leave me a review.

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Dimitri's Point of View. _Italics are flashbacks. _

Standing from the chair I wipe the tears from my cheeks, I kiss her on the forehead then turn to leave the room. I walk for what seems like hours before I reach on old bench, sitting on it I pull out an old worn photo. The creases are visible showing just how much use it's gotten. It's Rose from back in the days before I ruined her life, she's concentrating on her work for once and she looks adorable. I managed to snap a picture without her knowing and I'm glad I did. This picture is what's gotten me through the last five years. At first Tasha and I tried having a relationship but we could both tell that my heart was somewhere else. She never asked why and for a while I didn't tell her but that night I got the call I decided she deserved to know why we would never work.

"Dimka." My head shoots up and my eyes meet Tasha's. "How is she?" She asks the concern evident in her voice. I open my mouth to answer but the words won't come out. Running a hand through my hair I sigh. She sits down beside me before speaking again. "She's a fighter Dimitri. She's always been a fighter. She will wake up and everything will be just fine. It's only been a day; she just needs time to heal."

"You didn't see her Tasha. She looks so small in that hospital bed. She has all these wire running everywhere."

"I've heard that she has two very important reasons to wake up Dimitri. She won't leave her kids all alone. Those two they give her a very important reason to wake up."

"Their mine." I whisper.

"Who are?" She asks confused.

"Kyleigh and Aleksandr they're my kids."

Her body stills and she turns to look at me. She looks astonished but hell anyone would be. It shouldn't be possible for them to exist but they do. "How is that possible? You're both dhampirs, it's impossible. I don't understand."

"As far as anyone knows it happened because of some genetic change she underwent when Lissa brought her back. She was able to conceive with another dhampir, with me."

"Why didn't she tell you?" She sounds a little angry and I would be too but Rose had tried to contact me but I just wouldn't listen.

"She did. I never answered her calls. I ignored her. I thought if I cut all contact that it would be easier to forget her, that it would hurt less."

She sadly smiles at me before laying her hand on mine, "You never forgot Dimitri. I heard you at night. I listened to your nightmares. I saw you fall asleep with her picture clenched in your hand."

I watch her hand fall to the side as I stand up. "I have to go. I have a long day ahead of me and it's late. Do you need me to walk you to your room?" She shakes her head no and walks in the direction of her room. Turning I walk to my, I mean Rose's, room. Opening the door I walk onto a sheet of paper, bending over I pick it up and begin to read:

Dimitri,

It's nice to see you again old friend. It was pleasing to watch you suffer over the last five years. Forcing you away from her was the most pleasing thing I've ever done. That pain you've endured will not in any way compare to the way you will feel if you do not leave her now. I will ruin your entire life if you choose to stay. You deserve all that I've done to you. Leave them or else!

Five years ago

_"Do you know how dangerous that move was?" _

_"Yes I do but guess what it worked." The attitude oozes from her voice. My eyes find hers and I'm sure the disapproval is evident. What she did was stupid and reckless. _

_"What if next time it doesn't? If you die then Lissa dies. Is that what you want? You're not acting like a guardian Rosemarie." _

_"What the hell Dimitri you aren't a strigoi! I wouldn't try that move with one so chill the fuck out." Her voice never rises above a normal tone but the venom is easy to hear. I turn to look at her my guardian mask down and I'm sure she __can read me like a book. "What's wrong Dimitri?"_

_"Rose I'm leaving to guard Tasha." A look of sickness passes over her face. She searches my face for emotion but she wont find any. I watch her crumble to the ground. Looking up from the ground her eyes meet mine. _

_"I can't do this without you." The weakness she's showing doesn't even seem to bother her for once but it's killing me. _

_"You can Rose. That's what you just showed the entire academy. You've learned all I can teach you and now I have to go." I say my voice emotionless. _

_"Please stay." Her voice sounds so broken and unlike her that it catches me off guard._

_"Don't make this any harder Rose. Please." For once I let the weakness in my voice show causing her eyes to tear up. Standing up she walks towards me._

_Then in a fashion completely unlike her she says __"Goodbye Comrade." She places her hand on my arm before she turns and walks back towards her dorm._

_"Goodbye my Roza." I see her turn and watch as I crumble to the ground. Turning she continues to walk away. "I love you." Footsteps in the woods cause me to stand. I watch as he steps out of the woods. He's my worst enemy and the reason I just broke the heart of my love. "I did what you asked. Now leave her alone." I snap barly refraning from snapping his neck._

"_You made the right choice Dimitri."_

"_Choice? I had no choice. You made me leave her." I yell at him stepping closer. _

_I watch as he steps back and clears his throat, " I gave you the option of leaving or ruining both of your careers." _

_Breathing in heavely I ball my fist up at my side. "That isn't a choice. I don't care about my career but you will not ruin hers. I swear if you try and ruin her that I will hunt you down and kill you with my bare hands. Do you understand me!" I never raise my voice above a normal tone but I still manage to make the color drain from his face._

"_Come near her again Belikov and I will ruin you and her." I watch as he walks back into the woods. Crumbling to the ground I let the tears fall._

Balling the paper up I throw it across the room. This can't be happening again. I won't let it happen again. I can't lose her again. I can't lose them.


End file.
